Today I had a call of a close friend.
Anyway there were many things between us. And after an argument there was nearly no communication between us. There were things this person won´t understand, won´t see....but it´s ok.
I can live with it.
But I will never live again 7 years just to hope and pray...to make everything and living with a "maybe"
I cannot live with a maybe.
I didn´t said anything, didn´t wanted a decision coz I thought I would take your freedom.
It was a mistake....and the one who has to live with it is me.
well....after that call....I think...it´s wrong to call you reckless....it seemed a lot like it, coz this person shows me so much emotions, aggressions that I thought it is like that. It was because this person didn´t talked to me.
Now I know why he changed his name, and it´s ok ... i can understand it.
And I also understand why he reacts like that.
Actually...I feel sad about it....
It´s everytime the same....I love to be here. But I am always so happy to see her....but only for one weekend....
Sure when I am here, there are my friends and family.
But sometimes I need someone like her.
Because I´ve lost so many things. But it´s getting better I think.
Anyway I don´t understand some reactions of some people. Also to trust someone is getting harder.
But I try my best.
Anyway...something between me and others is different now. And I am sure, that it´s not only my fault.
We went together with to to the city centre of Leipzig.
It was soooo amazing, there were lights everywhere and everywhere was christmas.
Dai bought two DVD´s "fast & furious Tokyo drift" and uhm...sorry I forget the name of the other one.
In german it is called "Drachen zähmen leicht gemacht!"
We´ve been on the christmas market and have eaten lasagne.
Of course we´ve watched both this evening.
When I arrived at my cosmetician-salon I got this from my cute girls.
(we work together since nearly one year!)
It´s so cute!
I will eat this one (coz it´s a candy-cake) with my luvs on 6th of december
Nothing I say comes out right
I can't love without a fight
No one ever knows my name When I pray for sun, it rains I'm so sick of wasting time But nothings moving in my mind
Inspiration can't be found I get up and fall but...
I'm ALIVE! I'm ALIVE! Oh, yeah Between the good and bad's where you'll find me Reaching for heaven I will fight And I sleep when I die I live, My life, I'm ALIVE!
Every lover breaks my heart And I know it from the start Still I end up in a mess Every time I second Guess
All my friend's just run away
When I'm having a bad day I would rather stay in bed But I know there's no reason
When I'm bored to death at home When he won't pick up the phone When I'm stuck in second place Those regrets I can't erase Only I can change the end Of the movie in my head There's no time for misery I won't feel sorry for me
Wie man es schon ahnt,
heute war mal wieder Wohnungssuche angesagt.
Diesesmal in Bernau, war eigentlich eine kleine Wohung! (1-Raum), gut gelegen,
mit Kaisers und KIK (ja.....genau sowas brauch ich ja alles --") egal hauptsache essen is vor der
Bus hält vor der Tür was will man eigentlich mehr?
Heute steht noch an:
Weihnachtsgeschenke basteln XD
Jahaaa heute bin ich also wieder arbeiten.
War eigentlich ganz chillig, wenn......ja wenn die Weihnachtsdeko nicht wäre.
Langsam hasse ich den Laden mit dem Krempel -.-
Am Mittwoch gibts dann Bilder von meinem Disaster.
Achso...denn hatte ich den ganzen Tag nichts zu Essen und stand kurz
vorm einschlafen...wobei ich nichtmal weiß warum.
Today I spent my day at work...after that I met Zukki and Panda-Aki again and we went to Kentucky fried Chicken.
We´ve eaten something and waited for sano.
After Sano joined the round came some other girls...
I just known one of them.
well afterwards (and after Zukki realized that she wanted to help Panda-Aki)
I drove alone to Hiro´s home.
I was nervous end felt really...strange, but I was so unbelievable happy when Hiro called me to ask
if I came.
We watched a talent show and afterwards we made a lil OZ-Evening.
That´s the reason of the OZ-Pic above it was taken on Halloween and it´s sooo funny.
Anyway...I am happy that the day went well.
It´s getting better...I think
Heute ist es nun endlich soweit,
ich eröffne meinen neuen Blog.
Und nicht nur das ich eröffne damit auch einen neuen Lebensabschnitt!
Ich lasse einiges zurück und fange etwas neues an.
Ich lasse vielleicht Gefühle zurück, vielleicht Personen,
aber nie was ich wirklich Liebe.
Dennoch...von manchen Dingen muss man loskommen,
denn sie zerstören einen egal wie gut sie sind oder scheinen.
Es gibt eben Unterschiede zwischen Gut und Gut.
So wie es Unterschiede in Böse und Böse gibt.
Was mich angeht....
denke ich bin ich eine Mischung....
ein guter Dämon....
ja das trifft es in etwa.
Und somit leite ich meine Revolution ein,
leite ich meine Wiedergeburt ein.
Ein neues Leben.
Mein eigenes Ich!